Do you know what is much harder than it should be… actually feeling alive and getting enjoyment from life!

Why would feeling alive and getting enjoyment from life be hard?

Firstly because we’re constantly doing stuff, well scrolling. We spend too much time with our devices, and as we all know our devices can’t make us feel alive and support us to get enjoyment from life. 

In addition, we’re not actually living. We keep ourselves busy, and at this time of the year REALLY busy! But at the same time we’re also languishing inside. Our spirit is not feeling alive and we are not getting enjoyment from our life.

So what can you do about it? Well one thing is to master your happiness!

As parents, we often think happiness is for our kids. In fact we prioritise it for them. We don’t think about it for ourselves.

Before we talk about how to master your happiness, there is one thing about happiness that is overlooked by most people. You may think you’re already happy and having fun, but that’s because we attach the words “fun” or “happy” to everything leisure that we do. And let’s be real, happiness is not an activity, it’s a feeling, it’s a state of being.

I want you to take a moment now, and reflect on your own memories of being happy? What’s popping up for you? I am willing to bet that the things in your mind right now, they aren’t the light moments are they. They are joyful, treasured memories. That’s because happiness is a feeling, it is not an activity.

If you’re truly happy, you’re illuminated from within. Here’s a secret, true happiness is the secret to a healthier life!

I found this great model that illustrates how you can have more happiness:

The first area is playfulness. What is playfulness, it is having a light hearted attitude. Playfulness is not wanting perfectionism. When we are playful we let our guard down, and we’re free!

The second area is connection. Connection means having shared experiences. You can be alone and you can have connection with yourself or your surroundings, but often we find our happiness when we are with others, this is also the case for introverts.

The third area is flow. Flow happens when you’re so engaged, when you’re so focused, that you completely lose yourself in it, in fact you will probably lose track of time too!

Each of these areas can feel great on their own, but when you experience them all together you find the magic, this is where you experience true happiness,

Why is happiness important?

Happiness is important because it is energising. When you’re happy you literally glow with energy and warmth. 

Happiness can make us present. The fact that happiness happens in the magic space and this includes a flow state means that we are present. We are not distracted.

Happiness can unite us, when we are happy and share happiness, we can connect with others without barriers to race, religion, gender etc.

When we are happy, we are relaxed and more socially connected. This can improve your health, in fact it can be a health intervention.

It is simply joyful!

How do you find happiness?

Firstly you have to be getting the basics right. 

You need to exercise regularly, I’m not saying you need to run a marathon, but do you need to go for a walk for example. 

You need to eat well, think about cutting an apple for yourself when you chop one up for the kids lunch box. Make healthy eating easy for yourself. 

You need sleep, turn off your device and make sure you’re getting the sleep you need.

But in addition, think about what fills you up. What fills your cup and make sure you have some of that in your life. 

Tips to increase your happiness

There are a few things you can do to help increase your happiness. Firstly reduce the distractions in your life to increase your flow. Yes, that means you need to put down your phone/device!

You can also increase your connection by interacting more with others, and make time for your friends and family.

Finally you can increase your playfulness, you can look for opportunities to rebel a little. Go and see a movie in the middle of the day!

But most importantly, prioritise it! Let’s be honest now, you probably have yourself and your happiness is at the bottom of your list, after your family and everyone else. You need to prioritise yourself and your happiness. You can’t schedule it, pull out the diary and write in happiness at 4pm this Saturday! But if you know what makes you happy, schedule time for it. For example, put in your diary a walk around the park with your kids; a coffee with that friend that makes you laugh; a movie with your partner. 

When you’re happy you’re more creative, you’re more resilient, you’re more productive, you’re a better partner and you’re a better parent. Your family will thank you for making yourself a priority!