Is this really what I want to be doing with my life? Is this what I really want from my career? Is this really how I should be living? Is there more I ought to be doing? If you've considered any of these questions at any length, you've already started your soul search. 

Whether you're feeling lost, stuck, or simply uninspired, it can be hard to ignore when soul searching needs to take place. As we explored last week, it’s probably showing up as frustration in your life. 

Soul searching is the process of figuring out your purpose, your motivations, and what may need to change in your life in order to live in greater alignment with your true self. It often occurs as a result of feeling out of touch with yourself, or like something is missing.

So how do you start a soul search?

1. Spend time alone with your thoughts. 

Soul searching means evaluating how you are feeling and what is important to you. Getting these clear thoughts is only possible by minimising distractions and spending time with yourself. Start by giving yourself the time and space to be alone. Disconnect from social media, in fact turn your phone off if you can. Take a day off of socialising and find time to simply relax. 

A quiet activity, like journaling or doodling, may help your thoughts flow. Begin to think about how you're feeling in your day-to-day, what parts of you feel satisfied and where you think you have room to grow. Consider your core values and how you're abiding by them. Consider what you'd like to achieve, and how you identify in the world. Once you've answered these questions with yourself, you're ready to take action. 

2. Reevaluate your life. 

Soul searching isn't just an evaluation of your internal self; it's an evaluation of how you are relating to the world. Consider how your everyday life is supporting or diminishing your values, motivations and true self. 

Are your relationships helping you grow into the person you want to be? Is your career fulfilling your life's motivations or passions? Do you dedicate time to your hobbies, personal pleasure or passions? How are you representing yourself in the day-to-day? 

Once you've answered these questions about your life, consider how you can better align your practices to your soul's purpose. Perhaps outline a plan, make a resolution or talk through your realisations with your partner to realign your relationship. 

3. Build new relationships.

One of the surest ways to nurture your soul and get closer to living as your true self is by connecting with new people. 

New relationships can open your mind to life's diverse potential by opening your eyes to another's life experience, teaching you a lesson, improving your communication or reflecting something you didn't realise about yourself. 

Relationships — new or old — can also be a way to enrich your day to day and deepen your sense of human experience. 

4. Get clear on your strengths.

Start by writing down all the skills and experiences you have. Grab your journal, or any piece of paper and write it all down. Sit with it for at least 10 minutes, and explore everything you do, identifying the skills that you use. Think about how you plan the family’s extra curricular and social calendar and the skills it takes to do this - planning, organising, communicating, delegating and so on. Think about negotiating with your daughter why she can’t have a mobile phone just because everyone else does, what skills does this require - listening, judgement, communication, negotiation, debate, problem solving and so on. You get my drift, think about everyday life and the skills that you use without even thinking about it.

Then consider any special skills you have, such as drawing, writing, speaking, perhaps even interior design. Write down absolutely everything you can do.

Think about what you do everyday at work. If you’re no longer in paid work, what did you do? What skills did that require?

Once you’ve spent some time developing your list, ask yourself which of these come really easy to you? Which do other people recognise as your strengths? Which have you noticed you’re really good at? Use a highlighter or a different coloured pen and mark these on your list. If you’re really game, ask family and friends to share what they believe are your strengths, their answers may surprise you!

Et Voila! you have identified your strengths! Perhaps some of these you had completely forgotten about. Perhaps some you use without thinking about it. Perhaps you have lost confidence in how to use them. What is important is that you have rediscovered your strengths.

Now you know your strengths, start focusing on how you want to use them? How do you want your strengths to show up in your life? What does using your strengths achieve for you, for others? It’s not always easy to find the answer, but meditate on it, go for a walk while thinking about it. It will come to you. 

If all this sounds like something you want to do for yourself, then I am excited to share that my coaching doors are open. I have 1 client spot still available starting in February and I invite you to join me. 

Stop wasting your time and energy trying to do this on your own, stop wondering what else there is. Start now to do a deep soul search, gain confidence in yourself and start showing up differently for yourself and your family. If you truly want to live your true life, feeling aligned and more confident in yourself, this is your time to show up!

Still not sure? This is what one client had to say "If you are wanting to achieve a goal but are unsure how to get there Emily has the insight, skills and professionalism to help you. She manages to break down the goal into bite size chunks from the beginning to the end goal in sight. At all times Emily is wise, helpful and very easy to talk to. She has the ability to clear away the clutter occupying your mind and make you see things more clearly. I highly recommend Emily, she has a real gift with helping people and always offers advice with compassion and kindness."

Book a free call with me today, and let’s see if one of my coaching packages is right for you - https://calendly.com/theleaptolead/coaching