As busy mums, we get very reliant on our natural responses. We often don’t even think about what we are doing. Be it packing lunches, vacuuming, putting washing away. It all becomes second nature.

What’s scary is when the same thing happens with our self talk. We very quickly become reliant on our “normal” responses. We stop thinking about what we are saying to ourselves.

Here are some examples, do any of these sound familiar?

• I’m not good enough to do xxx
• I can’t do that anymore
• What if it doesn’t work?
• What will people think of me?
• I’m not worth it
• There’s no use
• Others are better than me

If when reading these examples, you felt a small moment of realisation. If any of these statements feel familiar, then I challenge you that now is the time to change your self talk. 

Why? Because 2021 didn’t start and suddenly all the craziness of 2020 ended. Because your family needs (and frankly want) you to be better than that. Because you owe it to yourself to stand up and speak ‘nicely’ to yourself. 

But ultimately because self talk manifests. It becomes your belief system. It becomes your ‘normal’, and if you are not being kind to yourself, that my friend is unacceptable. The problem is that it’s all in your mind, and it’s subconscious. You need to bring it into your consciousness.

This is important because your thoughts become your actions. 

So what can you do about it?

Start by identifying your negative self talk. If you tell yourself “I’m not good enough” or “there’s no use” then write it down on a piece of paper, or in your journal. Or put it on a post it note, and stick it to your bathroom mirror. Take a good long look at yourself and ask yourself, “it is true”?

I’m almost positive the answer you will get is “no”!

Instead tell yourself the opposite. “I am good enough” or “I have the experience to do xxx” or “the reason I want this is xxx so I will do xxx.

Next I want you to make a plan for tomorrow. What will you say differently to yourself? Focus on catching yourself in the act and reflect on it. And at the end of the day, check in - were you kind to yourself? 

You need to start thinking like a friend, what would they say to you? Once you are conscious of your negative self talk, switch it to a positive. 

In addition, you need to be willing to be imperfect. We all make mistakes, we all slip, we all fall over. Take the tips above and pick yourself up again, turn it into a positive. 

One of the most common negative self-talk is “I just don’t have the time or the energy”. There maybe something you want:

• Rediscovering a hobby
• Volunteering
• Exploring your new home
• Learning a new skill
• Starting part time work
• Starting your own business

Whatever it is you want, if you feel like you don’t have the time and energy download my “Time and Energy Cheat Sheet” and discover how you can carve out a little time for yourself. >>www.expatparentingabroad.com/time<<

I want to share something I read by Oprah recently “ask yourself, what do I believe? Do you believe that you are worthy of happiness, success, abundance, fulfilment, peace, joy and love? What I know for sure is you become what you believe!”

Please share in the comments, is your self talk a barrier to you having what you want?