I don't know what I'm good at?

In celebration of International Women’s Day 2022, I am presenting a four part series of insight and reflection that will take you from feeling lost and lacking confidence in yourself, to having clarity on your strengths and a positive mindset.

Too often as women, and especially as mothers, we feel lost. We have lost our life. We have lost ourselves. We have forgotten what we like to do. We have forgotten what we can do. With this four part series I want to help women just like you. I want to help you to understand that you’re not alone. I want to help you to understand how you ended up here. I want to help you to rediscover yourself and get out of this rut. Because, and this is really important to understand, you can change your life, this doesn’t have to be permanent.

Part 2 - What am I good at?

What could I do? I’m not good at anything!

Does this sound familiar? Is this the soundtrack that’s been playing in your mind?

This is the second part of a series I am sharing in celebration of International Women’s Day. In part one we looked at why you feel lost and how you got to that place. Today we are looking at how you can rediscover your strengths, the simple steps you can take right now to rediscover what you’re good at.

Firstly, I want you to take a moment and recognise the amazing woman that you are. I want you to recognise how hard you work for your family, carrying the mother load day in and day out. I want you to see that you have amazing talents, you’ve just lost sight of them for a moment.

I know you’re scoffing, “amazing, yeah whatever!” 

As women, and especially as mothers, we are very quick to flick away a compliment. In fact, I’m willing to bet that when someone pays you a compliment, you quickly rebut it with a negative joke at yourself. 

Think for a moment, how did you react to the last compliment you received? Were you gracious with a “thank you” or did you say “really it was nothing” or “it was the team, not really me” or “I fluked it this time”.

We have lost sight of ourselves, of our skills and our strengths. We have even moved to a point where we struggle to accept a compliment. 

Why? Well as we explored in part 1 of this series, you had a career, you had children, and you got busy serving everyone else. You want to show up and serve your family, you want to be a good (frankly, a great) mum. You give everything you have to make sure all their needs are met. You focus on ensuring their wants are met. You do everything! 

And in the process, you lost track of you. You lost sight of who you are. You forgot what you like to do. You lost confidence in yourself and what you can do. You let all your dreams fade away and focused on your family. Not on purpose, you didn’t even realise it was happening, it was a natural slide. 

So how do you rediscover your skills and strengths?

Start by writing down all the skills and experiences you have. Grab your journal, or any piece of paper and write it all down. Sit with it for at least 10 minutes, and explore everything you do, identifying the skills that you use. 

Think about how you plan the family’s extra curricular and social calendar and the skills it takes to do this - planning, organising, communicating, delegating and so on.

Think about negotiating with your daughter why she can’t have a mobile phone just because everyone else does, what skills does this require - listening, judgment, communication, negotiation, debate, problem solving and so on.

You get my drift, think about everyday life and the skills that you use without even thinking about it.

Then consider any special skills you have, such as drawing, writing, speaking, perhaps even interior design. Write down absolutely everything you can do.

Think about what you do everyday at work. If you no longer have paid work, what did you do? What skills did that require?

Once you’ve spent some time developing your list, ask yourself which of these come really easy to you? Which do other people recognise as your strengths? Which have you noticed you’re really good at? Use a highlighter or a different coloured pen and mark these on your list. If you’re really game, ask family and friends to share what they believe are your strengths, their answers may surprise you!

Et Voila! you have identified your strengths! Perhaps some of these you had completely forgotten about. Perhaps some you use without thinking about it. Perhaps you have lost confidence in how to use them. What is important is that you have rediscovered your strengths.

You are capable of a lot, you are good at lots of things! 

So change that soundtrack in your mind to one of celebration :-) What is really important right now is that you take a moment to recognise how amazing you truly are. Recognise your amazing skills and those which are your strengths. Celebrate you! Enjoy this moment of feeling good about yourself.

Next in this series we will explore how you use your skills and strengths, how they can serve you.

In the meantime, if this sounds like something you would like to explore further privately in a one on one conversation, I invite you to book a call with me. Let’s connect and talk about your situation and how you can change it. This is a FREE call, there is no obligation, simply allow me the opportunity to support you. Book your call here - https://calendly.com/expatparentingabroad/coaching