Mid life. A time in life which society used to mark by a ‘crisis’, a moment in time where you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. Where in response to this ‘crisis’, you go and do something that seems completely out of character. Right now are you picturing a middle aged white man buying himself a sports car which is completely impractical given his family life, but he doesn’t care LOL! Maybe I’ve watched too many cheesy movies!?! 

So, mid life. Let’s talk about it. But in doing so let's also be real - as we are living longer, mid life these days is anytime between 35 and 75, it is quite simply the middle period in our lives. It is common however, that during this period of mid life we experience some level of change or an internal shift of some sort. 

Not all mid life shifts are equal. For some people mid life is a period where there is a deep questioning of self, a checking in on what we have achieved so far and do we feel it’s enough. You might feel a sense of regret or loss for things you haven’t done but thought you would have ‘by now’. Or maybe what you thought you wanted isn’t important to you any more. 

For others mid life can be a truly positive experience, where you are clear about what you have already achieved and you know what is important to you. You know clearly what you want from life, you also know exactly what steps you are going to take to have that. In reality, I don’t think this is the norm. 

I am finding it really common that women in mid life struggle a little (sometimes a lot). What happens is women in mid life start to feel invisible. We have a lot of stuff going on, we are inherently busy showing up for everyone. Showing up for our partner, our children and in many cases our ageing parents, we feel sandwiched between everything that is needed from us. Don’t get me wrong, being able to support our family and ageing parents is a privilege, but we are spinning so many plates that we lose sight of who we are. We start to feel invisible, we don’t know who we are if we’re not being mum, wife, or daughter. We often feel overlooked and undervalued. 

Think about it for your circumstances, are you busy spinning the plates of life? Are you sandwiched between the needs of your kids and your parents? I have had this discussion a lot lately… no one told us how challenging this period of life was going to be, feeling pulled in all directions. 

If like many women, you feel invisible, then I encourage you to recenter yourself by focusing on your gift. Your gift is what makes you unique. Your gift is what makes you special. Yes, you are special, you are unique, you’ve just got a little lost. 

What is your gift?

If you’re not sure, then ask yourself this question while you have your journal or a piece of paper. Write down what feels obvious, even if what you write down doesn’t feel like a gift. Then ask the same question again, and keep repeating the question 5 times. Each time providing a different answer, it will help you gain clarity on what your gift is. It is really important to be clear on your gift, clarity really is key to navigating mid life and not feeling undervalued or invisible. 

Once you know what your gift is, ask yourself how do I want to use this gift to serve? Again, spend some time with your journal or a piece of paper. Give yourself the time and space to find that clarity. Knowing your gift and how you want to use it, you will be able to decide what path you want to take next. You will know your next right step, and you’ll be able to take it with strength and courage. That’s what having clarity will do for you.

Mid life can be a tricky time, especially if you’re feeling invisible. Having clarity on your gift, and knowing how you want to use your gift will support you to build your confidence. With confidence your visibility will increase as will your ability to thrive in mid life.