How To Find Your Focus In 2023
Instead of worrying about your New Year’s resolutions, instead of feeling like a failure a month after the year starts, I invite you to focus on your strengths instead. More importantly, focus on which strengths are important to you and how you want to use these in the year ahead.
Some people want to improve their health, others may want that promotion they’ve been thinking about. While we go into the new year with good intentions, many of us give up or forget these promises we made for ourselves. Why? Because we get caught up in our own minds too easily. We stop ourselves from pursuing our dreams. We forget what we’re actually good at!
What could I do? I’m not good at anything!
Does this sound familiar? Is this the soundtrack that’s been playing in your mind?
Firstly, I want you to take a moment and recognise the amazing woman that you are. I want you to recognise how hard you work for your family, carrying the mother load day in and day out. I want you to see that you have amazing talents, you’ve just lost sight of them for a moment.
As women, and especially as mothers, we are very quick to flick away a compliment. In fact, I’m willing to bet that when someone pays you a compliment, you quickly rebut it with a negative joke at yourself. We have lost sight of ourselves, of our skills and our strengths. We have even moved to a point where we struggle to accept a compliment.
So how do you rediscover your skills and strengths?
Start by writing down all the skills and experiences you have. Grab your journal, or any piece of paper and write it all down. Sit with it for at least 10 minutes, and explore everything you do, identifying the skills that you use.
Think about how you plan the family’s extra curricular and social calendar and the skills it takes to do this - planning, organising, communicating, delegating and so on.
Think about negotiating with your daughter why she can’t have a mobile phone just because everyone else does, what skills does this require - listening, judgement, communication, negotiation, debate, problem solving and so on.
You get my drift, think about everyday life and the skills that you use without even thinking about it.
Then consider any special skills you have, such as drawing, writing, speaking, perhaps even interior design. Write down absolutely everything you can do.
Think about what you do everyday at work. If you’re no longer in paid work, what did you do? What skills did that require?
Once you’ve spent some time developing your list, ask yourself which of these come really easy to you? Which do other people recognise as your strengths? Which have you noticed you’re really good at? Use a highlighter or a different coloured pen and mark these on your list. If you’re really game, ask family and friends to share what they believe are your strengths, their answers may surprise you!
Et Voila! you have identified your strengths! Perhaps some of these you had completely forgotten about. Perhaps some you use without thinking about it. Perhaps you have lost confidence in how to use them. What is important is that you have rediscovered your strengths.
Now you know your strengths, start focusing on how you want to use them? How do you want your strengths to show up in your life? What does using your strengths achieve for you, for others? It’s not always easy to find the answer, but meditate on it, go for a walk while thinking about it. It will come to you.
I have a free strengths assessment that might help you with this, you can download this now ‘What Am I Good At?’ - https://www.theleaptolead.com/guide
Now that you have clarity of your strengths, and you know how you want to use them, this is when you create an action plan for yourself. What do you need to do today, tomorrow, next week to make this a reality for yourself. Put it in your diary and make time for it. Make time for yourself, your most important project!
