Navigating the Sandwich Years
Are you part of the “sandwich generation”? If you find yourself caught between caring for your children and ageing parents while trying to maintain a career or business, you’re not alone. This juggling act can leave you feeling stretched thin, constantly wondering if you’re doing enough for anyone, let alone yourself.
I know I’m not alone when I’m sharing with friends “this season of life is rather full on”! But I also know that many of my clients face the same challenges, and I want to share some insights and strategies to help you not just survive, but thrive during these demanding years.
A few years ago, I found myself in the thick of the sandwich generation challenge, not that it’s over. But this was when reality really hit me, I was trying to build my business, support my girls with home learning during lock down, and provide support to my parents as dad entered his final stages of his cancer battle. Everything was compounded by the lock down and it felt like I was being pulled in a million directions, and guilt was my constant companion.
But here’s what I want you to remember: You are doing an incredible job, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Your ability to juggle multiple roles is a superpower, not a weakness.
One of my clients, Lisa, shared a beautiful perspective that changed everything for her. She said, “I used to see myself as being torn between my roles. Now, I see myself as the bridge that connects all these important parts of my life.” This shift in mindset was transformative. Instead of feeling fragmented, Lisa began to see the value she brought to each aspect of her life.
So let’s talk about some practical strategies to help you navigate these challenging years:
1. Prioritise ruthlessly: Not everything needs your immediate attention. Focus on what truly matters. I use the “urgent vs. important” matrix to help me decide where to focus my energy, manage my time and reduce stress.
2. Delegate and ask for help: You don’t have to do it all alone. It’s okay to lean on others and it will allow you to show up more fully in other areas of your own life.
3. Create micro-moments of self-care: Even 5 minutes of “me time” can make a difference. For me, it’s a quick walk and I have different loops I do depending on how much time I have. If not a walk, then 5 mins with a cup of tea in the sunshine works wonders! Find what works for you and make it a non-negotiable part of your day. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being and ability to care for others.
4. Communicate openly: Be honest with your family, colleagues, and most importantly, yourself about your capacity and needs. Clear communication can prevent misunderstandings and reduce stress. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries and ask when you need support.
5. Find the silver linings: Yes, it’s challenging, but there can be beautiful moments too. Supporting my in-laws after the Christchurch Earthquake allowed us to develop a relationship that never would have happened otherwise. Look for these precious moments amidst the chaos - they can provide much-needed perspective and joy.
What’s one small thing you can do today to make your juggling act a little easier? Perhaps it’s scheduling that doctor’s appointment you’ve been putting off, or asking a friend to help with school pick-ups once a week. Start small, but start somewhere.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. We’re all figuring it out together, one day at a time. The sandwich years may be challenging, but they’re also an opportunity for growth, deeper connections, and discovering strengths you never knew you had.
