Why does it feel so awkward to say “I love myself”? Even if you’re just saying it to yourself, in your head and not out loud. It feels a little icky doesn’t it. Why?

I’m not suggesting I'm in love with myself. That’s something different again LOL! But it does feel wrong to love myself, why?

It feels wrong because we are so used to focusing on our family, on their needs, on their demands we don’t have time for ourselves. As mums we literally put ourselves last on our list of things to focus on. But this is not healthy. If we never focus on ourselves, if we never love ourselves, then we’re running on empty. We are limiting our ability to support our family the way we would like to, because we are exhausted!

I’ll be honest with you, I do love myself. It hasn’t always been easy though, I’ve had to really hone in on what’s important to me to allow myself to make “me” my priority. I still slip up sometimes, but I definitely love myself a lot more now than I did maybe 5 years ago.

Finding love for yourself is so important to your own mental, emotional and physical health. When I realised I was out of balance, I started making changes. Some of these I have shared in the past, but I’ve made even more changes in the past year or so that have really supported me to become the person I’ve always wanted to be. Fit, strong, full of energy and ready to take on the challenges that life throws at me. 

Part of this has been finding the right physical exercise program for me. Certainly, getting Minty 3 years ago started that shift for me. I walk her every day (rain, hail or shine) which gave me reasonable cardio fitness and started shifting my body shape. But last year I noticed my body starting to feel old, I found it hard to keep up with the girls, I found my strengths depleting - literally struggling to open bottles and jars! I made it a priority to find an exercise program that would increase my strength and flexibility that would fit my schedule. I was lucky to come across Kate (click here to learn more about Kate) and her workouts have changed me, I feel fantastic! And I can do them at home, at a time that works for me, with full accountability. I’m on fire now LOL!

If we don’t love ourselves, then we can find ourselves feeling exhausted, resenting those we do love and not being very productive in our lives. My energy levels have improved so much, and again my body shape is changing - which feels fantastic. I’m not losing weight, that wasn’t my goal, but I’m changing with lean and toned muscles - it looks good (if I don’t say so myself!) But with increased energy, I am able to be far more productive while working, I am getting more important things done, and I have more time to support the girls. 

When we know that we need to love ourselves, why do we find it so hard? More often than not, because we feel guilty about prioritising ourselves. The reality is, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but necessary. I can keep up with the girls now. I can run with them. I can play tennis on a Sunday afternoon without a sore shoulder (Miss J and I won this weekend!) Loving myself, prioritising my exercise has meant our family experiences are richer. 

Loving yourself is not indulgent or unnecessary. Setting up your daily routines with “me time” for exercising, reading, just sitting with a lovely cup of tea, is absolutely necessary. Make sure you protect this time with boundaries, be prepared to say no to some things. But also know you can’t overhaul your life overnight, you will need to take small steps and accept that it won't always go to plan. Some weeks I can only do 2 of the 4 workouts, but I’m still doing 2 and that’s OK!

I love myself, do you? If you’ve been neglecting yourself and not loving yourself enough, then I encourage you now to make a pinkie promise with yourself to change that. What do you need to shift - your exercise, your sleep routine, your eating habits? Choose one thing and make time in your diary now to start working on it. Is it joining a workout program? Is it switching your phone off earlier and enjoying some quiet time before you go to bed? Is it spending time planning your meals for the week so you eat better?

Make yourself a priority from today, choose one thing and start working on that with small, manageable steps.